Today, on the Voice of God, we have an interview with none other than our favorite mother figure, Sabrina Smith, otherwise known as Sabby! Sabby, how are you today?
I’m doing alright.
Well, it’s nice of you to join us. Why don’t you tell us a little about yourself?
Well, as you’ve already said, my name is Sabrina Smith, but everyone calls me Sabby. I’m in my 40s (a girl never tells her age!), married to a very nice man named Dave, have two daughters – Lily, 16, Beth, 14, and a son, David, 9. We live in a nice home, well, somewhere in the United States. Dave has a good job as a structural engineer, and I stay home and take care of the children and keep house. Sometimes we have a few challenges as an interracial couple, but we love each other, and that’s the important part.
Yes, I’m black, he’s white. Is that a problem?
Of course not. You already see Lily as a daughter?
I’ve already offered to adopt her, haven’t I? As far as I’m concerned, she’s my daughter. Do you have a problem with that?
No! Not at all. I’m just curious. After all, this interview is to get to know you better, right?
You’re right, I apologize. It’s just that with all we’ve been through over the past year, I get a little protective. Moreso than my biological children, I think. I love them dearly, but they don’t have the same challenges that Lily does.
Why don’t you tell me a little about how you found Lily?
Well, we were just minding our business one day, when we got a call from a doctor from church. Apparently they had found a girl by the side of the road, and she had no identification, no missing person’s report, nothing that could be used to identify her. If someone didn’t take her in she would become a ward of the State, and that’s the last thing that doctor wanted. He knew us from church and knew we would be able to take her in. We’d never considered taking in another child, but for some reason we just felt it was the right thing. So we picked her up and took her home. We had very little to clothe her in but after putting in an emergency call to our pastor, he was able to find a family with a daughter about her size that had some clothes to spare.
So we took her home. She had a very hard time adjusting. Not only did we not know who she was, she didn’t either. We showed her into her room and all she did for the first week was eat, sleep, and cry. It was heartbreaking. She spoke very well, but she knew nothing at all about anything. She wasn’t really scared, she was just so incredibly lonely. I mean, she didn’t even have herself to keep her company.
After a week, we decided that maybe it would help her feel at home if we took her shopping. So we took her for some clothes and other items of her very own. She seemed to appreciate that. She seemed to really like pretty and modest clothing, so we bought her some nice dresses, skirts, blouses, jeans, that kind of thing. She really took to it! She has a really good fashion sense, I was surprised, but she seemed to know what she was doing, even though she didn’t know why. She didn’t go for sexy stuff, but she loves beautiful clothing a lot!
It took a long time for her to trust us. I don’t really blame her. Beth and David were very jealous of her at first and treated her horribly. You have no idea how mean someone can be until you see a 13 year old girl being mean! But after a while, she seemed to grow on them, and now they kind of treat her like a sibling. They still grumble and complain quite a bit, but they’ve accepted she’s going to be here for the long term. She met her best friend Liz on online school, and they’ve been insparable ever since. I think they are a good influence on each other – Liz helps Lily to be more serious and studios, and Lily helps Liz to come out of her shell a bit.
What is Lily’s personality like?
Lily is a sweet, bubbly girl with a lot of sadness inside her. It’s hard for her to express her sadness sometimes, but she doesn’t seem to mind when I try to help her through it. She is innocent and naive in many ways, but not so much that she lets people take advantage of her. I envy her for that sometimes. What it must be like to be completely unconcerned with the past!
Let’s talk about you for a bit. You go to church. What does faith mean to you?
I was raised as a strong Christian, but I have a lot of questions and struggles with my faith. But it’s gotten me through a lot. Dave’s version of Christianity is a little different than mine, but we both trust in God, because who else are we going to trust in? Our church is also very accepting and we like it there. We don’t force our kids to believe, but we expect them to at least give it a fair shake – so they have to at least go to church with us. They can do what they want when there, but they have to at least go. We think that’s fair.
Pardon the question, but as an interracial couple, the past year must have been more difficult than most. How do you navigate those issues?
Well, the first thing to know is, I categorically refuse to accept anything that will turn my husband against me, or me against my husband. If I were to somehow believe that his race mattered, that he was part of an oppressive class or any of that nonsense, then our marriage might as well be over, and I’m not about to throw that away because someone else wants reparations! I love my husband, and I don’t care if he’s white or brown or yellow or purple (well, I care if he’s purple because that means he’s dying), but the point is that he’s my husband and that’s all that matters to me. And if that means that somehow I’m any less black, then so be it. That’s the choice I made when I married him, and I’m not going to give him up for anything.
I understand. You sound like a loving couple.
We are! Yes, he’s white. I don’t care that he’s white. I’ve never cared that he’s white. I don’t care that his family is white, that some of his friends are white, that some of his coworkers are white – most of them have treated us very well and I choose to take that at face value. I have black family, and some black friends, and some black coworkers, and that doesn’t matter to him, either. And woe to anyone who tries to get between us! I won’t have it!
Sorry, had a Claire Huxtable moment there.
Really? You young people…
What do you think is in the future for you and your family?
Honestly? I have no idea. The last year has been difficult. My husband has kept his job but has mostly been working from home, my children have been doing school from home, and everything’s just in flux right now. And then we have Lily’s unique legal status, and I couldn’t even hazard a guess. But we’re a family, and we’ll stay a family, and we’ll face it all together.
Well, I’m glad you found Lily, and I’m glad Lily found you. It sounds like you were made for each other.
Thank you. What was your name again?
Hah. Not quite that easy.
Worth a shot, Creator.
Indeed it is, Sabby. Well, I won’t keep you, it was nice chatting with you. Please do come back sometime.
Of course. It’s the least I can do.
What’s for dinner tonight?
Oh, yum. Wish I could join you.
But then you’d have to tell us who you are.
Indeed. Maybe some other time, then. Bye bye.
And that, folks, was an interview with Sabby Smith. She sure is a nice lady, isn’t she? She seems to love her children, Lily included, and I think Lily is in very good hands as she goes about trying to discover who she is. Tune in next time, when we interview someone else from the world of Lovely Lily Lives!